Saturday, January 14, 2006

Red's Top Ten List

The Top 10 List of people David Letterman should have said- “...60% of everything you say is crap”- to, BEFORE saying it to Bill O’Reilly.

#10- Everyone within the zip code 90210

#9- All ex-comedians turned journalist/pundit/political hack/radio talk-show hosts.

#8- Anyone who makes op-ed/propaganda videos and calls them “Documentary” Films.

#7- Anyone who didn’t bother to graduate high-school or vote but feels qualified to tell the rest of us how to run the country.

#6- Anyone who tries to convince us that oral sex…. Isn’t sex.

#5- Anyone that is still married to Bill Clinton.(see #6)

#4- Yeeeeeeeeeeeee-Haaaa, Howard Dean and (hiccup) Ted Kennedy.

#3- Anyone who threw away their Vietnam war medals then ran for President AND anyone who made an exercise video then married Ted Turner.

#2- The News Media: Dan Rather, CBS, ABC, NBC, PBS, NPR, NY Times, etc.

#1- AND....The Number One person that Dave should have said “60% of what you say is crap” to, before saying it to Bill O’Reilly, is…..(Drum Roll Please Paul)

That young, good-looking, smart fellow Dave sees in the mirror every day.

Additional To-Do list for “60% Crap”, before you get to Bill O’Reilly:

Anyone who has used the terms “Selected Not Elected”, “When Clinton Lied - Nobody died”, “ Republican culture of corruption”, “Bombed the levy, Quagmire, freedom fighter, Iraq has nothing to do with 9/11, War for Oil and/or Bush Lied.

Anyone driving an electric car or riding a bicycle to work who thinks they are saving the planet.

Everyone who thinks SUV’s are responsible for global warming, hurricanes or forest fires.

Anyone who claims marriage is anything other than between a man and a woman.

Anyone who tells you that we are safer if we cannot own a gun to defend ourselves.

Anyone who tries to claim that Hillary is in the same league as Condi.

Anyone who demands a total separation of state and church but has no problem with Rev. Al Sharpton(d) for President and/or Rev. Jesse Jackson(d) being in politics.

Lawyers and/or Used Car salesmen.

Anyone still driving a VW van with a peace sign and a “make love- not war" sticker on it.


Post a Comment

<< Home