Endorsements Key To Presidential Election

It seems that special interest groups are once again taking control of our election process.
One candidate stands out as being endorsed by just too many controversial extremists groups and therefore he must be discounted, discredited and generally discarded... can't recall his name.
But first, let's run down the top candidates and their supporters.

Ron Paul gets the United Hookers endorsement to add to his Potheads of America supporters.
Rudy gets the "I cheated on my wife" vote. (Bill Clinton support pending)
Fred gets the "trophy wife" and cardiologists vote.
Mitt has the "I've got more wives" vote all wrapped up.
Hucklebee gets the "marry your cousin" vote (he's from Arkansas).
John McCain gets the sympathy vote, and that's about it.
Hillary is endorsed by the LPGA, snap-on tools and the first black President (pending DNA tests).
John Edwards is brought to you by "Breck" the $400 haircut shampoo of Presidents.
Hussein Obama... has the "names that sound like terrorists" vote all locked up.
Dennis Kucinich has the full endorsement of "pretend people" from outer space... and Shirley McClain.
"Jihad Joe" Biden has the hopes and dreams of al Qaeda squarely on his shoulders.
Poor Tom Tancredo doesn't have the endorsement of anybody...

Which brings us to the only candidate the media is ashamed to tell you about.
His endorsements are just too scandalous and shocking to put on the news.

He is loved by the military, and has a son who just returned from Iraq (2nd tour).
He has the endorsement of the "Republican wing of the Republican party" so says the Missouri Republican Assembly.
He has an A+ rating from the NRA
He has the full backing of those living on the US side of the only 15' tall Double Fence (he built) between Mexico and America.
He is a champion for the unborn.
China hopes you never hear his name again.
Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck support him... (scandalous!)

But his name escapes me....