Osama Video Expected, Democrats Scramble

Not to be outdone by Fred Thompson's big announcement on the Tonight Show, Barahma Osama, errrr Binlama Obama, uhhhh... Osamabama mama, uhhh I mean Osama Bin Laden is expected to release a new video announcing his candidacy for President of the United States.
"Since I already have the full support of the entire Democrat party, I figured I might as well enter the presidential race now rather than waiting" Bin Laden reportedly said to a handful of hungry followers at an impromptu rally in a cave somewhere in the mountains near the Afghanistan border today. "Bring on that two bit "B" list Hollywood actor and his trophy wife", "that adulterer Mayor from NY and that infidel Mormon too"... "I will slaughter them all...(at the polls of course)".

Admittedly there are problems to work out with citizenship and other issues but Democrats are confident those problems can be worked out.
"We are going to pass legislation that will allow all people to vote and run for President of this great country no matter where they live or what their beliefs are" said Speaker of the House Nancy Peloci (D) CA. "It's a big tent" according to Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D) NV "and it's a great day when our sworn enemies are comfortable enough to run for political office and become a part of the process. We are just proud to be a part of it and look forward to sitting down and discussing how we can help."

Reid also said this should signal the end of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan or the so-called "war on terror". "With Osama in the presidential race, I don't see any way that Bush and Cheney can continue this illegal war against a candidate for President, I mean that is surely against the Constitution and all that this country was founded on. We expect the war to be over within 24 hours of the release of Mr. Laden's new video and announcement of his candidacy for President of the United States".

Reid added "God bles,....errrr excuse me,... Allah bless America".

Bin Laden is expected to select former Muslim Barack Obama as his VP creating the "Osama-bama in 08" ticket.
In other news, Bin Laden said Hillary Clinton will be executed along with her unfaithful adulterer husband following the election according to Islamic law. All other candidates will announce their conversion to Islam and their new Muslim names within 1 week or will be executed according to Islamic law. All homosexuals will be rounded up and executed according to Islamic law. All others will have a reasonable amount of time to convert to Islam or be executed according to Islamic law.


-red